I started a new Facebook group recently. The goal was to bring the discussions we have in our San Diego Man Camp Group into a forum that included women to discuss these issues without the new age hippie bullshit that permeates other gender discussion groups. And it has been magical. It has given the women of the group the opportunity to understand men from a masculine point of view instead of the typical feminine point of view. During the discussions, we often talk about different "kinds" of men - how we think, what we think, why we think that way, and how those thought patterns are manifested in our behaviors, beliefs, and attitudes. Understanding these groups and how they fit into this whole gender thing gives us a lot of insight to the real issues we face. Here's a few along with a very brief summary and rationale:
Natural Alphas: Natural alphas are men who have decidedly masculine traits, but have the ability and desire to temper these traits with feminine characteristics when the situation warrants. They were presumably born this way or have been trained since birth. In our modern society, these are the most desirable men. They want romantic relationships. They want to raise healthy families. They want to be community leaders. They have a life purpose outside their wives or girlfriends, and they chase that purpose with passion. They have a strong moral code and stick to it. They're fit, attractive, and stylish. These men receive a ton of female attention and have near-endless options in partners. Despite that attention, they remain loyal to their mate. Natural alphas usually have to resist their mate's taming behaviors by continually passing his mate's shit tests.
|Rick is a natural alpha.|
Recovered Alphas: Recovered alphas are natural alphas who, at some point in their life, turned themselves into beta males. At some point, they realize this was a very bad route, and work to recover their dormant inner-alpha. In most cases, these men will be emotionally manipulative "Nice Guys" during their beta phase. The San Diego Man Camp project specifically focuses on this group; we help men rediscover their inner alpha in a pro-social way. Like the Natural Alpha, the Recovered Alpha has to fight taming behaviors by passing shit tests.
Fuckboys: Fuckboys are smooth natural alphas who have no desire for long-term relationships. They have all attractive masculine traits to attract females, but prefer short-term relationships or one-night stands. These are the men described in this Vanity Fair article. Fuckboys are really just men having fun, but they tend to break a lot of hearts along the way because women fall for them, but they have no desire to settle down. Women WANT these men to settle down and usually go to great lengths to tame them. Fuckboys almost always settle into Natural Alphas when they find one especially high value female, they get tired of the hookup scene, or they get too old to attract a lot of female attention. Fuckboys always pass "alpha" shit tests, but usually fail "comfort" shit tests.
|James Bond is a Fuckboy|
Pseudo-alphas: Pseudo-alphas are men who do not have innate feminine traits to temper their masculine side. In many circles, this is the stereotypical "alpha male" douche. These are the loud, brash, arrogant men who treat everyone like shit. Think Jersey Shore. Pseudo-alphas are distinguishable from Fuckboys by their obvious lack of refinement. Still, these men have the ability to attract women for one-night stands, but these women usually have no desire for a long-term relationship with them. Pseudo-Alphas also pass "alpha" shit tests but fail "comfort" shit tests.
Beta Providers: Beta providers are either natural beta males or broken alphas who never "wake up" to the fact that they're really alphas and make the effort to become Recovered Alphas. These men have a very predictable pattern they fall into, which I describe in detail in this Sexpressionists article. Often, these men get married to women who are sick of trying to find a natural alpha or have had their hearts broken by Fuckboys. These marriages follow a very predictable and tragic pattern. The women who marry these men also have a very predictable and tragic pattern. Beta providers fail almost all shit tests. These are the men who typically join SDMC and could most benefit from our workshops.
|Ted Moseby (or an uglier version) is a beta provider|
Pickup Artists: Pickup artists are beta males who have learned to mimic alpha behavior to pick up women for sex. Most of the time, these men are conflated with Fuckboys and Pseudo-Alphas. I draw the distinction because pickup artists are intentionally deceptive. They understand exactly what women are looking for, then become that person. The key, and the reason I place them in the "beta" category, is because their entire life revolves around women. Often, these men are really looking for female affirmations more than just sex. But sometimes it's just about sex. These men tend to be despised by women because of the deception. These dudes LOOK and ACT exactly like natural alphas, but it's a facade. Pickup Artists always pass all shit tests because they study how to pass shit tests.
Dangerous Betas: Dangerous betas are betas who build resentment towards women usually due to a lifetime of rejection. These men are perpetually friendzoned by women they perceive as their perfect soulmate only to watch them look up with Fuckboys or Pseudo-Alphas. They believe women are fundamentally evil or, minimally, completely immoral. These men are typically extraordinarily misogynistic. These are the men who stalk, rape, or kill women. Dangerous betas fail all shit tests.
Men will typically fit into one of the above groups. Sometimes men organize around various "communities." Here are a few of these communities:
The Red Pill (TRP): These dudes are almost always beta providers and generally want either lots of pussy (they want to become Fuckboys) or long term relationships (they want to become Recovered Alphas), so they attempt to learn how women operate, so they study female behavior in the real world through the frame of evolutionary psychology. They have excellent observations, but virtually no ability to sell the ideas without sounding like a decidedly misogynistic Hitler. Part of the problem is some of them actually ARE like a misogynistic Hitler (Dangerous Betas.) This is the group I most closely relate to, and the men I attract for SDMC tend to have the same goal of desiring healthy, long-term relationships.
Men's Rights Advocates (MRA): These dudes, almost always Beta Providers, generally have been fucked over in divorces (via alimony, child support, or custody) or falsely accused of sexual assault. They tend to be bitter about the skewing of our legal system towards women at the exclusion of men. This is the group who tends to use the term "pussy pass", which is the phenomenon of women getting shit from men simply because they're female (like showing cleavage to get out of a speeding ticket.) I do not like this group. While they do have legitimate grievances, they tend to play the victim card and come off as whiny little bitches. They play the victim card because they learned activism from feminists. They do not understand that men cannot use the same tactics women can use. Women can be victims and society takes notice. Men cannot. They just come off as pathetic. Many of these men have the potential to become Dangerous Betas, but their activism gives them a somewhat healthy outlet.
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW): This group, consisting mostly of Beta Providers, would *like* to have a secure, long-term relationship with a woman, but they tend to be too low value (ugly, fat, poor, too lazy to improve, etc.) They make a conscious decision to give up on the possibility of female companionship and tend to work towards other goals, usually professionally. These men usually frequent prostitutes to satisfy sexual needs. Ironically, these men's tendency to improve themselves and ignore women makes them far more attractive to women (they accidentally become Recovered Alphas), so they usually end up getting what they stopped chasing. In The Red Pill circles, this is what men do when they go into "monk mode" and ignore women for a few months to a year. As a society, we treat these men harshly, which makes me sympathetic to their plight. They're generally harmless and just trying to live their life without constant disappointment.
Men in modern society fall into one of these categories. Understanding why they do what they do goes a long way towards understanding male behavior. The more we understand the subtle nuances of these behaviors, the more effectively we can solve some of our weird societal gender issues that plague us today. Same deal with understanding female behavior. Knowledge is power!