Saturday, August 13, 2016

The Alpha Female... What Does She Look Like?

My Fictional Alpha Female Crush

In my new gender discussion group (Cotton Underwear Nougat Troupe), we spend a lot of time talking about the idea of Alpha and Beta Males. Quick refresher. For men, the alpha/beta dynamic aren't discrete categories. It's a spectrum of social dominance. In any given situation, all of the men are ranked from the top Alpha (the leader), to the #2, then the #3, and so on. The most Beta is the dude at the bottom. When we talk about "alpha" and "beta" traits, we're really describing various behaviors that positively and negatively affect your position in the social hierarchy.

An important thing to note about males and social hierarchies - it's all based on utility. We rank based on our perceived expertise and ability to lead. And it changes from situation to situation. In the San Diego Man Camp group, I'm the Alpha because the entire thing is based off my ideas. Pick any other endeavor, however, and other dudes in the group would probably assume the alpha role because they would be the most effective leader. 

So What About Females?

Females have their own hierarchy, but it plays by much different rules. Instead of being set by situational hierarchies based on expertise, it's set by social utility in general and social bonding in particular. As such, the Alpha Female of the group is always the woman who can most effectively bind the group and direct its actions. Alpha Females exist to keep groups together, which differs from Male Alphas who exist to get shit done. In a healthy society, we need both. 

Interestingly, it's very easy to spot the alpha female in a group composed of all females. All other women will unconsciously point one or both feet at her. She often has the ability to utilize both feminine and masculine traits. 

Alpha Females tend to be charming, sexually-alluring, funny, driven, and have an ability to put anyone at ease. They're natural leaders. The most successful Alpha Females will, in addition, possess all three components of the Dark Triad (narcissism, psychopathology, and Machiavellianism) traits which help them protect their tribe socially, which differs from Alpha Males who physically protect and provide for the tribe. In other words, people don't fuck with Alpha Females. 

In any group of women, there's always only one Alpha Female, but the rest of the group plays specific roles like an enforcer, a joker/ weirdo, the conversation-starter, the gossiper, the whipping post, the girls who get ignored, etc. Each serves a purpose, and the Alpha Female directs them in their roles. There are no "Beta Females" per se, but there will be a ranking of each group member's importance to the group... so there IS a woman at the bottom. Additionally, most women have some Alpha Female capability, which could feasibly be used to rank women on an Alpha/ Beta phenomenon similar to how us dudes operate. 

If the Alpha Female leaves the group, the next-most capable alpha assumes the role OR the group simply dissolves. The quality and effectiveness of any given group of females is directly related to the "alpha-ness" of the current Alpha Female. 

One of the most amusing things about this dynamic occurs when two experienced Alpha Females enter a group. Since there can only be one Alpha Female, the lower-ranking Alpha Female will typically challenge the higher ranking Alpha Female to establish the position. It's never shared. This tends to create a lot of disruption (drama) because the group doesn't know who to follow.

It's also worth noting Alpha Females will always defer to capable Alpha Male leadership because they understand the utility that men bring to the equation. They understand genders are complimentary, not oppositional. Any effective team, organization, or even couples utilize the utility of Alpha Males and the social bonding of Alpha Females. This is the reason feminists are rarely if ever effective leaders... they don't understand this dynamic. Alpha Males aren't good at social bonding and Alpha Females aren't good at getting shit done.

Also worth noting - I've met precious few women who haven't self-identified as a "strong woman", and most seem to assume this means they're an Alpha Female. This is not the case. "Strong women" are usually the equivalent of beta males... they buy into the "you're special just the way you are" mediocrity bullshit pushed by the empowerment self-help industry.

Women, unlike men, do not get a boost to their sexual market value based on their alpha status, but it can get complicated because high value Alpha Males usually love Alpha Females. So there's that. But the actual traits aren't universally attractive. It's complicated. 

As a weird sidebar, Beta Males who have been friendzoned by women also become part of the female "group" and assume a role just like other women. Unfortunately for the Beta Men, they don't have the same intuitive understanding of subtle female behavior, so they fall to the bottom of female social groups. As such, Beta Men can never assume the Alpha Female role. 

Of all the gender-based dynamics I've studied over the years, this is the one I've spent the least time actually studying in real life... mostly because I don't care that much. It has zero personal relevance to me other than explaining it to my kids and knowing how to identify the Alpha Female in a group of women. 

Additionally - if any Alpha Females OR ladies interested in improving your Alpha Female skillz and wanna have some great discussions, join the CUNT group. We need more female voices!

Comments? Questions?


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