Monday, September 26, 2016

How "The Patriarchy" Makes Our World Better



The following is a excerpt from my longer post from last year where I spell out the fundamental elements of the ideology I teach in the San Diego Man Camp. In light of the recent spat of mass shootings conducted by disgruntled males here in the US recently, I want to draw attention to this particular piece of the puzzle. "The Patriarchy" is often used as a Boogieman for feminists as the cause of all our world's problems. In reality, "the patriarchy" serves to guide otherwise destructive or lazy men into more productive endeavors. 

But first... the definition of "The Patriarchy." For funsies, I'll let the completely rational ladies over at Feministing offer up the definition: What Is The Patriarchy?

Got it? Good, let's get started.

***


The Real Purpose of "The Patriarchy"


Fighting against "The Patriarchy" is a pretty common strawman argument used today to justify all sorts of attempts at silly social engineering. It IS true; we used to have a patriarchal system of government. Women were excluded from representation. Winning the freedom of equality under the law was the original goals of feminism. As I stated before, that was a great thing. People don't seem to understand, though, that patriarchy was a system to control men, not women. Women were oppressed under the system, but that was incidental to the real purpose of patriarchy.

The idea that men would have to create an entire social structure to control women should fall apart immediately when you consider one simple, irrefutable fact - men are physically stronger than women. Men don't need elaborate social structures like religion, codified laws and a judiciary, and social mores to control women. They can simply use force. Testosterone gives us a size, strength, and speed advantage, along with the capacity and primal drive to use aggression to engage in extreme violence.

Controlling each other, though... now that takes some work. THAT is the reason men developed "The Patriarchy."

To understand why men need to be controlled, you really have to understand the nature of masculinity. Masculine men have that shit-ton of testosterone flowing through our bodies, and that causes all sorts of well-documented behavioral and attitudinal characteristics. This effect leads men to follow one of three "paths" that are driven by our primal, biological imperative:

  • Create 
  • Destroy 
  • Enjoy 

That's it. Those are the three options men have. If we create, we find a passion that helps our fellow man and follow it with all our heart. We become givers and strive to make ourselves the best version of us we can possibly become. This is the vehicle that has led to pretty much every major advancement of humanity. The problem with "creating" is that it's hard work. There are few tangible rewards along the way except for the journey itself. In fact, the overarching goal of the San Diego Man Camp (join our Facebook group if you haven't already done so.) This is also why I kind of despise beta males... they refuse to improve themselves or do the hard work to create. They sit on their asses, content with being "special for who they are." Anyway, I digress. 

If we destroy, we become takers. This would include petty criminals, con artists, rapists, murderers, evil dictators, etc. Biggest problem with destroyers is that it's a lot easier than being a creator and one man can do a Hell of a lot of damage. A small group of men can do even more. We don't want men to do this; it sends society backward. 

The final option is to simply kick back and do nothing productive OR destructive. Weirdly, men have the capacity to be ridiculously industrious AND complete and total lazy fucks. This is your typical lazy fuck beta male chump today, which is encouraged by modern feminists that attempt to "redefine masculinity." 

So what does this have to do with patriarchy? 

Waaaayyyy back in our evolutionary history when we were still hunting and gathering, men didn't really have much of a choice. They were productive when they needed to hunt or build shit for the tribe. They were destructive when they had to protect the tribe or forcefully acquire resources from neighboring tribes. Finally, they were lazy the rest of the time to conserve energy for famines and other harsh environmental conditions. The tribes that had the most men that could successfully do all three survived and killed those that were less successful. See where those drives originated and were selected via natural selection? 

Eventually we discovered agriculture, which led to villages, towns, and eventually cities. Larger, more diverse populations and more specialization meant not all men needed to use all three of these drives, but we still possessed the potential. And sometimes bad shit happened when men decided to destroy. Or get lazy. The leaders, at some point, started devising ways to control and channel men into a pro-social way. Those methods fell into three categories: 
  • Force 
  • Bribes 
  • Family Life 

The problem with force is that it takes a lot of time and resources, and doesn't work especially well over a long period of time. Imagine a dude standing over your cubicle with a whip. Positive punishment, in operant conditioning terms, needs to be immediate, severe, and consistent to be effective. You end up needing almost as many whip-crackers as male workers. That's a pretty inefficient system. 

The problem with bribes is that it takes a lot of resources and it causes an extrinsic motivation effectwhere we eventually hate what we're "paid" to do. Think of how many Americans today despise their jobs. Without kids to raise and sex (only the rich handsome males had regular access to women, that's why the ancients were polygynist), there was little motivation to work for rewards long-term because the rewards become ineffective. 

That left "family life." At some point, leaders realized men would be motivated to choose the "create" option if they were doing it to provide for a wife and kids. He would be motivated by sex from his wife and the desire to get his genes into the next generation. 

The problem with family life is that we're not all that well-suited for lifelong monogamous pair-bonding. We're inherently kinda slutty AND there's the problem with polygyny I mentioned before where only the best males had wives. The idea of monogamous marriage and the expectation of sexual fidelity solves that problem because it gives a lot more men access to wives. However, it requires systems to control men's desire to fuck as many women as possible and women's tendency to always seek the best male they can attract. THAT is where all the oppression of patriarchy comes from. The oppression of females, which did happen, was just a consequence of controlling men. 

Today, we've effectively ended the patriarchy. Women now have all the legal freedoms men historically enjoyed. We now have a social, legal, and economic system that allows women access to anything and everything men have access to, which includes government support should they decide or become a single mother. It's easy to get married, easy to get divorced, premarital sex and cohabitation are common and accepted, serial monogamy has replaced "till death" monogamy as the norm, and ethical, consensual nonmonogamy is increasing in popularity

Needless to say, all of us have incredible freedom. But that freedom comes at a very, very serious cost because far too many of us still deny that gender matters. A lot. 


###

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Set Goals No Matter How Impossible


Goal-setting is a time-honored pillar of self-improvement. Most recommend setting difficult-but-achievable goals, reach the goal, then set another similarly-difficult goal. This is an excellent way to systematically progress and is exactly what I use regularly.

However, I also utilize close-to-if-not-completely-impossible goals like Bruce references in the above pic. I usually use this method for very specific situations, like my hobbies. Here are two examples:

Example #1: Back when I was running ultramarathons, I would pick one particular runner who was enjoying a high level of success. The goal was simple - I wanted to beat them. If we're running the same race, I wanted to finish ahead of them. If we were running the same race but different years, I'd want to beat their time. I would study everything about them... how they train, what they eat, what gear they use, how they prepared for races... whatever. Since there would be inevitable differences between us, I would alter whatever they did to account for said differences. They were far more successful than I was, so I would use them as the model. And they would be the rabbit I would chase. It was incredibly motivating.

I would also do this with specific elements of running. For example, I wanted to get better at running uphill. The solution? Pick someone who was a phenomenal uphill runner, then shoot to beat them. 

The key- the people I would choose were really good. I only surpassed my targets about 10% of the time, but the net effect made me a FAR better runner.

Example #2: Jiu jitsu. I spent the first two years of doing jiu jitsu learning as many of the basic, fundamental skills as I could without any specific targets. Once I felt I had a decent, well-rounded base, I wanted to start aiming for the stars. So I picked out the best jiu jitsu player I regularly trained with, and set the goal of being able to regularly beat them. So I do the same thing - closely study everything they do, then adapt it to myself then begin working hard. 

Much more so than the ultrarunning goals, this one will, in all likelihood, be impossible. As a forty year old dude, I'm already fighting the losing battle with age. The target is significantly younger and more naturally athletic. However, jiu jitsu is a martial art specifically designed for a weaker, smaller, less athletic person to defeat a physically-superior opponent. That makes this goal theoretically possible, but it would require me to REALLY master every single technique and get creative with synthesizing new shit to give myself a competitive advantage. To make this goal even more difficult, the target excels at both technical proficiency and creative synthesis of the basics. There's an extremely high probability I will fail at this goal. But...


The lesson: If there's something you really want to master, don't be afraid of picking impossible goals. 



###

Monday, September 19, 2016

How Older Women Can Compete With Younger Women: A Guide to Winning the Dating Wars



So you're a woman over thirty and you're striking out in the dating world. All you want is that perfectly-chiseled man who will buy you pretty things, take you on exciting adventures, and love you unconditionally. What are you to do? You've come to the right place!

This is long. There is no tl:dr. If you're too lazy to read, it would be useless information anyway.

First, I feel ya. Talking about this shit can be really difficult for all kinds of parties because it strips away the sugar coating we use to make ourselves feel better about the bleakness of life. As a 40 year old dude, I can say it also relate to the bleakness of aging and how that factors into all of this. For me personally, learning about this shit was hard because I realized my former beta male self wasn't just leading a less-than-effective life, but I was actively emotionally-manipulating a whole lotta people around me and had been since puberty. That's some painful shit to process. 

I've spent the last 2-3 years working on honing a message that allowed me to teach other dudes and their female mates about this without that god-awful dread I went through. I do all of this shit out of a sense of compassion, though it's rarely reflected in my tone. I want to make people's lives better and I'm most effective when I'm doing exactly what I'm doing now. But it ain't subtle.

Second, and related to that last point, I have not had as much time to craft a message that makes this more appealing to women as it relates to their lives specifically. This is obvious when we start discussing sexual market value as women move past their late 20's. So here's an attempt at that.

Let's Begin...


Okay, first the reality. In simple economic terms, SMV is accurate and plays out as I've described. Older women are in competition with younger women, and they generally lose. The flip side - older men are in competition with younger men and generally win. Both of those scenarios have a loser; that's the nature of competition. And we know what it takes to win in both scenarios.

For a woman over about 30, that sucks because physical attractiveness is by far the most important thing that matters to dudes universally. The "manosphere" dudes call this point where women's value on the sexual market starts to decline as "the wall." As you know, this is why the cosmetics and plastic surgery industry is so robust... looking young sells. It's important to note this is rooted in biology. We can't talk ourselves out of this by redefining what is beautiful because what is beautiful are indicators of fertility. And we all know how that works.

So the real question women are usually asking, which I will attempt to answer - how can a post-wall woman compete with women who have not passed that point? I'm going to give you tips that will pertain to each of you individually; this isn't a message I could give to all women and it be effective.

Y'all, by virtue of reading this blog, are fundamentally different than 99% of your cohorts. That's huge. I'm going to give you some decidedly un-politically-correct masculine-voiced advice of what you can do to be more attractive to dudes because I trust all of you can read it without getting triggered because you've filled your head with feel-good nonsense that's not based in objective reality.

All other things being equal, the younger woman is going to be more objectively physically attractive. Many of you more "experienced" readers have daughters. If you showed 100 random male strangers a picture of both of you, which would they choose? Attractiveness matters a lot, so that's tip #1.

Tip #1: Look as fit and hot as you possibly can. Facial attractiveness is tough to reverse, but skin care and really good cosmetics do make a huge difference. Many women, as they approach and pass 40, kinda give up. The "fat is beautiful" trope is really stupid, and is a blessing in disguise. These lazy women are your competitors, take advantage. It's the reason almost all of the SDMC dudes lift weights and work to cut our body fat. Which brings me to fitness. Work out. Aim for a body fat % between 15-20%. I personally recommend Crossfit for exercise and MyFitnessPal (the app) to control diet. This tip is huge. There's a chick in her mid-50's that hangs out at the pool outside my living room window. Facially, she's a *generous* 2 out of 10. But she's relatively fit and has a body fat percentage around 10% and an "A" cup. No ass. Yet 85% of the vacationers that are visiting, including attractive young dudes, check her out and about half strike up conversations. That's a little too skinny, but you get the point.

Tip #2: Seduction matters. I think most post-wall women make the mistake of trying to attract men the same way they did pre-wall, which is based entirely off physical attractiveness. This is a huge mistake. You have something the young chicks have... knowledge. Use it. I know, based on your comments, you do this already. But use it more. One of the weird skills I developed as a beta male "Nice Guy" was the ability to get women to fall in love with me. I have 100% confidence I have the skills to make any woman fall head-over-heels in love with me if I have about three months. This is how I landed my wife, FWIW. She knows this; its's an amusing story. Anyway, I can do that because I know what it takes. If you're looking for a long-term relationship (any of you could get laid at any time if you really needed to), you know what it takes to get a dude to fall for you on an emotional level. Use that. The young chikas ain't got that. If your seduction skills aren't in the top 5% of your peers, buy this book and follow the advice

Tip #3: Be willing to do anything within reason sexually, do it quickly, and do it enthusiastically. This is the basis of the "MILF teaching the young man about sexuality" arrangement that's relatively common today. We all have really dark sexual fantasies we will never, even under torture, reveal. This, by the way, is the trump card of "psychics." Tell people they have a dark sexual secret, throw out a few Forer statements (Google it), and BAM! They're 100% convinced you're Miss Cleo (RIP.) In my "Ladder Theory" post, I shared what dudes look for in chicks. Our perception of the likelihood she'll put out quickly is a HUGE part of the pie. So at least give dudes the perception you'll put out quickly. It's a great opportunity to hook them into the seduction game from Tip#2. When you do finally put out, give them the impression you'd be down to try anything once, and do it with enthusiasm, not trepidation. TMI - this is my wife. I hypothesize women who have this attitude cause a massive oxytocin dump in the brain, because it makes me want to cling to her like Hubba Bubba in your pony tail.

Tip #4: Don't come off as sex-crazed. You have to walk a fine line between #3 and #4. High value dudes will have confidence in doing what's needed to get you into the bedroom, so there's no need to advertise the fact that you love sex. Come off as too sexual and you'll drive those guys away (we like the challenge) and attract low value dudes who have no game. 

Tip #5: Personality matters more than most realize, but for a weird reason. All of you have a particular personality. Let it fly. Show the outside world your inside world. People who are their authentic self radiate a confidence that is absolutely infectious. You hippies probably have a word for it. But it's fucking magnetic. But here's the catch. It's only magnetic to those who are like-minded. But those people... they get you. And people that get you want to be with you. When we're talking opposite genders... that means bonding. Outwardly, I'm a far different person than I was even two years ago. But I'm the same inside. And the difference is night and day. I just attract like-minded people. That's why SDMC has been a success... we all "get" each other. Same deal applies in relationships. Again, a personal reference - my wife and I have been through serious shit as a couple. We've also experienced all kinds of crazy shit. It would have torn most couples apart. Why did we survive? Fundamentally, we "get" each other because we're basically the same person but with genitals that match up in fun ways. The only way you get people to buy the real you is to market the real you.

Tip #6: Don't be a cunt. Be a decent, pleasant person. Have good manners. Be respectful. Be grateful. Don't perpetually act like a victim. Don't be a bitch. Don't be bitter and act like you have a chip on your shoulder. No talking about exes and how they fucked you over. Or worse, comparing the dude you're with to your ex... even if it's favorable. It's a huge red flag. No bitching about how unfair life is treating you. Don't be emasculating. Don't come off as a know-it-all. We hate women who always have to be right. So many women come off as just horrible people... and I don't think they have any self-awareness of this at all. Be warm, kind, and gracious. 

Tip #7: Be interesting. Interesting people are interesting because they have depth of personality. Quite simply, they know shit about a lot of different things, and they talk about those things. One of the worst parts of the running world I was a part of for many years is almost all runners live and breathe running. The topic gets old when you're running with someone for 12 hours in the mountains. Let's face it, you've seen some shit. Almost all of you remember the Challenger. Men don't value "smart" women nearly as highly as they value "interesting" women. And those are two very, very different concepts.

Tip #8: Embrace propinquity. Place yourself in environments where high value men hang out. This one seems obvious, but most women don't do it. You know what kind of man you're looking for. Figure out where they exist, then go there. Propinquity is one of the most reliable predictors of people entering relationships. Take advantage of that. Likewise, avoid places where low value males hang out. When women ask "where are all the good men?", they're certainly not hanging out at the coffee shop or a Hillary Clinton rally. 

Tip #9: Don't advertise you're a fucking feminist. Feminists act like dudes. Not feminine chicks who can add spice by sprinkling in some masculine traits, but dudes. Like you feel kinda gay if you're having sex with them. That's not good for a straight dude. Feminism is like alpha repellent. And beta attractant. If you ever get an apparent alpha who claims to love feminists? You're either super hot and he's trying to fuck you or, far more likely, he's a pickup artist beta who has great acting chops. Avoid discussing feminism and anything related to feminism. Keep the ideals. Dress them in a far more seductive package.

Tip #10: Don't take advice from dudes who are trying to bone you. I always advise men to NOT get any sex, love, or relationship advice from women. First, women don't seem to have a great grasp on what exactly turns them on (which I argue is evolution in action... it's a good thing.) Second, if the woman is attracted to you, the advice is going to be anything that maximizes her chances with you. That last point works in reverse. Except most dudes who are looking for just sex will fuck just about any woman who isn't extremely repulsive. I've seen how low this can go before... it's moderately disturbing. The point - if you ever encounter dudes who give you advice on any of this, it's safe to assume they're going to give advice to maximize their chances of boning you. If your seduction game is on point, you can actually use this bit of information in said game.

Tip #11: Don't overshare. Be judicious about the pace at which you self-disclose your life. You don't want to come off as if you're hiding shit, but don't reveal your deepest, darkest secrets within the first twenty minutes on the first date. Like an onion, reveal your layers one at a time. 

Tip #12: Don't order a fucking salad on the first lunch or dinner date. Nothing says "I have a cardboard personality" like ordering salad. Order something interesting or exotic, sexy, and decadent. Then offer to share. 

Tip #13: Be a capable conversationalist. This goes back to the "be interesting" idea, but a little more specific. When he's talking, actually listen (as opposed to composing your next statement in your head.) FAR too many people do this and it's annoying as fuck. Develop your ability to ask questions based off what the other person says. If they mention they went to school in upstate New York, follow up by asking something like "Were the fall colors as brilliant as I imagine?" Silly example, but you get the idea. Listen more than you talk. If your socialization skills aren't in the top 5% of your peers, buy this book and follow the advice

Tip #14: Don't be a catty bitch. Women, if in the presence of a high value man, have an annoying tendency to sexually disqualify other women within eyesight with comments like "look at that woman in the slutty dress. I bet she has herpes." If you're doing what it takes to assure the dude you're with is interested in you, there's no need to do this. It just makes you look like an insecure jealous or envious bitch, both of which are red flags. 

Tip #15: If you have kids or pets, don't talk about them unless asked. It's fair to mention them, but don't make them the topic of conversation unless he asks. Nothing kills seduction like talk of family. Also, if he has kids and you don't BUT you have a pet, DO NOT COMPARE THE EXPERIENCES AS IF THEY'RE THE SAME THING! Being a "pet parent" isn't parenting. It's a fucking animal. This is a powerful indicator you've lost touch with objective reality.

Tip #17: Be aware of the caveats of online dating. Online dating is a weird animal. Generally speaking, the people who use online dating are doing so because they're either too busy to meet people in real life, are just looking to get laid with minimal effort, or have social hangups that make asynchronous, electronic communication more desirable than chatting face-to-face. For women, you're not going to find a lot of high value alpha males looking for relationships online. Most high value dudes are just looking for a string of random hookups. Those who ARE looking for commitment get snatched up by high value women almost immediately because they're so god damned rare... which is more than enough justification to make yourself as hot as possible to compete. The vast majority of men online a beta turds who are excessively needy, fat, lazy, weird in an off-putting way, or just hoping to find a woman desperate enough to fuck them. To avoid those men, I suggest adding the following like to your profile: "No male feminists." It won't completely solve the problem, but it's a good start. 

Tip #18: Understand not all dudes who will fuck you will want to have a relationship with you. I intentionally saved this one for last because it's among the biggest mistakes I see women making. I explain this dynamic in more detail in this post, but it basically works like this: High value dudes will tap low value women, but will only commit to high value women. Women often assume if they're good enough to fuck, they're good enough for girlfriend (or gasp - wife) material. Not so. Women looking for commitment consistently aim for men clearly out of their league, then get frustrated when those men ditch them. The problem isn't the men. The problem is the woman's failure to understand how men actually work. The rule of thumb: If you have problems getting men to commit, lower your expectations and shoot for lower value men, or, as I recommend in the linked article and in some of the tips above, do the hard work of making yourself a higher value woman. I recommend making a list of the things you desire from your dream man. Now make a list of the shit you bring to the table. Be honest. Do you think that dream man would be impressed with your list? If not, get to work or start crossing shit off your dream man list

Conclusion


There you have it - eighteen tips to help older women compete with younger women. Given our society's tendency to shame masculinity, we have a glut of beta males running around. High-value alpha males capable of long-term relationships really are unicorns. These eighteen tips, if followed, will give you a HUGE advantage over all your cohorts and should give you a fighting chance with the younger, less experienced women. 

Good luck!

In the next post, I'll share some tips on how to discriminate between alpha and beta males. 



###




How Older Women Can Compete With Younger Women: A Guide to Winning the Dating Wars



So you're a woman over thirty and you're striking out in the dating world. All you want is that perfectly-chiseled man who will buy you pretty things, take you on exciting adventures, and love you unconditionally. What are you to do? You've come to the right place!

This is long. There is no tl:dr. If you're too lazy to read, it would be useless information anyway.

First, I feel ya. Talking about this shit can be really difficult for all kinds of parties because it strips away the sugar coating we use to make ourselves feel better about the bleakness of life. As a 40 year old dude, I can say it also relate to the bleakness of aging and how that factors into all of this. For me personally, learning about this shit was hard because I realized my former beta male self wasn't just leading a less-than-effective life, but I was actively emotionally-manipulating a whole lotta people around me and had been since puberty. That's some painful shit to process. 

I've spent the last 2-3 years working on honing a message that allowed me to teach other dudes and their female mates about this without that god-awful dread I went through. I do all of this shit out of a sense of compassion, though it's rarely reflected in my tone. I want to make people's lives better and I'm most effective when I'm doing exactly what I'm doing now. But it ain't subtle.

Second, and related to that last point, I have not had as much time to craft a message that makes this more appealing to women as it relates to their lives specifically. This is obvious when we start discussing sexual market value as women move past their late 20's. So here's an attempt at that.

Let's Begin...


Okay, first the reality. In simple economic terms, SMV is accurate and plays out as I've described. Older women are in competition with younger women, and they generally lose. The flip side - older men are in competition with younger men and generally win. Both of those scenarios have a loser; that's the nature of competition. And we know what it takes to win in both scenarios.

For a woman over about 30, that sucks because physical attractiveness is by far the most important thing that matters to dudes universally. The "manosphere" dudes call this point where women's value on the sexual market starts to decline as "the wall." As you know, this is why the cosmetics and plastic surgery industry is so robust... looking young sells. It's important to note this is rooted in biology. We can't talk ourselves out of this by redefining what is beautiful because what is beautiful are indicators of fertility. And we all know how that works.

So the real question women are usually asking, which I will attempt to answer - how can a post-wall woman compete with women who have not passed that point? I'm going to give you tips that will pertain to each of you individually; this isn't a message I could give to all women and it be effective.

Y'all, by virtue of reading this blog, are fundamentally different than 99% of your cohorts. That's huge. I'm going to give you some decidedly un-politically-correct masculine-voiced advice of what you can do to be more attractive to dudes because I trust all of you can read it without getting triggered because you've filled your head with feel-good nonsense that's not based in objective reality.

All other things being equal, the younger woman is going to be more objectively physically attractive. Many of you more "experienced" readers have daughters. If you showed 100 random male strangers a picture of both of you, which would they choose? Attractiveness matters a lot, so that's tip #1.

Tip #1: Look as fit and hot as you possibly can. Facial attractiveness is tough to reverse, but skin care and really good cosmetics do make a huge difference. Many women, as they approach and pass 40, kinda give up. The "fat is beautiful" trope is really stupid, and is a blessing in disguise. These lazy women are your competitors, take advantage. It's the reason almost all of the SDMC dudes lift weights and work to cut our body fat. Which brings me to fitness. Work out. Aim for a body fat % between 15-20%. I personally recommend Crossfit for exercise and MyFitnessPal (the app) to control diet. This tip is huge. There's a chick in her mid-50's that hangs out at the pool outside my living room window. Facially, she's a *generous* 2 out of 10. But she's relatively fit and has a body fat percentage around 10% and an "A" cup. No ass. Yet 85% of the vacationers that are visiting, including attractive young dudes, check her out and about half strike up conversations. That's a little too skinny, but you get the point.

Tip #2: Seduction matters. I think most post-wall women make the mistake of trying to attract men the same way they did pre-wall, which is based entirely off physical attractiveness. This is a huge mistake. You have something the young chicks have... knowledge. Use it. I know, based on your comments, you do this already. But use it more. One of the weird skills I developed as a beta male "Nice Guy" was the ability to get women to fall in love with me. I have 100% confidence I have the skills to make any woman fall head-over-heels in love with me if I have about three months. This is how I landed my wife, FWIW. She knows this; its's an amusing story. Anyway, I can do that because I know what it takes. If you're looking for a long-term relationship (any of you could get laid at any time if you really needed to), you know what it takes to get a dude to fall for you on an emotional level. Use that. The young chikas ain't got that. If your seduction skills aren't in the top 5% of your peers, buy this book and follow the advice

Tip #3: Be willing to do anything within reason sexually, do it quickly, and do it enthusiastically. This is the basis of the "MILF teaching the young man about sexualality" arrangement that's relatively common today. We all have really dark sexual fantasies we will never, even under torture, reveal. This, by the way, is the trump card of "psychics." Tell people they have a dark sexual secret, throw out a few Forer statements (Google it), and BAM! They're 100% convinced you're Miss Cleo (RIP.) In my "Ladder Theory" post, I shared what dudes look for in chicks. Our perception of the likelihood she'll put out quickly is a HUGE part of the pie. So at least give dudes the perception you'll put out quickly. It's a great opportunity to hook them into the seduction game from Tip#2. When you do finally put out, give them the impression you'd be down to try anything once, and do it with enthusiasm, not trepidation. TMI - this is my wife. I hypothesize women who have this attitude cause a massive oxytocin dump in the brain, because it makes me want to cling to her like Hubba Bubba in your pony tail.

Tip #4: Don't come off as sex-crazed. You have to walk a fine line between #3 and #4. High value dudes will have confidence in doing what's needed to get you into the bedroom, so there's no need to advertise the fact that you love sex. Come off as too sexual and you'll drive those guys away (we like the challenge) and attract low value dudes who have no game. 

Tip #5: Personality matters more than most realize, but for a weird reason. All of you have a particular personality. Let it fly. Show the outside world your inside world. People who are their authentic self radiate a confidence that is absolutely infectious. You hippies probably have a word for it. But it's fucking magnetic. But here's the catch. It's only magnetic to those who are like-minded. But those people... they get you. And people that get you want to be with you. When we're talking opposite genders... that means bonding. Outwardly, I'm a far different person than I was even two years ago. But I'm the same inside. And the difference is night and day. I just attract like-minded people. That's why SDMC has been a success... we all "get" each other. Same deal applies in relationships. Again, a personal reference - my wife and I have been through serious shit as a couple. We've also experienced all kinds of crazy shit. It would have torn most couples apart. Why did we survive? Fundamentally, we "get" each other because we're basically the same person but with genitals that match up in fun ways. The only way you get people to buy the real you is to market the real you.

Tip #6: Don't be a cunt. Be a decent, pleasant person. Have good manners. Be respectful. Be grateful. Don't perpetually act like a victim. Don't be a bitch. Don't be bitter and act like you have a chip on your shoulder. No talking about exes and how they fucked you over. Or worse, comparing the dude you're with to your ex... even if it's favorable. It's a huge red flag. No bitching about how unfair life is treating you. Don't be emasculating. Don't come off as a know-it-all. We hate women who always have to be right. So many women come off as just horrible people... and I don't think they have any self-awareness of this at all. Be warm, kind, and gracious. 

Tip #7: Be interesting. Interesting people are interesting because they have depth of personality. Quite simply, they know shit about a lot of different things, and they talk about those things. One of the worst parts of the running world I was a part of for many years is almost all runners live and breathe running. The topic gets old when you're running with someone for 12 hours in the mountains. Let's face it, you've seen some shit. Almost all of you remember the Challenger. Men don't value "smart" women nearly as highly as they value "interesting" women. And those are two very, very different concepts.

Tip #8: Embrace propinquity. Place yourself in environments where high value men hang out. This one seems obvious, but most women don't do it. You know what kind of man you're looking for. Figure out where they exist, then go there. Propinquity is one of the most reliable predictors of people entering relationships. Take advantage of that. Likewise, avoid places where low value males hang out. When women ask "where are all the good men?", they're certainly not hanging out at the coffee shop or a Hillary Clinton rally. 

Tip #9: Don't advertise you're a fucking feminist. Feminists act like dudes. Not feminine chicks who can add spice by sprinkling in some masculine traits, but dudes. Like you feel kinda gay if you're having sex with them. That's not good for a straight dude. Feminism is like alpha repellent. And beta attractant. If you ever get an apparent alpha who claims to love feminists? You're either super hot and he's trying to fuck you or, far more likely, he's a pickup artist beta who has great acting chops. Avoid discussing feminism and anything related to feminism. Keep the ideals. Dress them in a far more seductive package.

Tip #10: Don't take advice from dudes who are trying to bone you. I always advise men to NOT get any sex, love, or relationship advice from women. First, women don't seem to have a great grasp on what exactly turns them on (which I argue is evolution in action... it's a good thing.) Second, if the woman is attracted to you, the advice is going to be anything that maximizes her chances with you. That last point works in reverse. Except most dudes who are looking for just sex will fuck just about any woman who isn't extremely repulsive. I've seen how low this can go before... it's moderately disturbing. The point - if you ever encounter dudes who give you advice on any of this, it's safe to assume they're going to give advice to maximize their chances of boning you. If your seduction game is on point, you can actually use this bit of information in said game.

Tip #11: Don't overshare. Be judicious about the pace at which you self-disclose your life. You don't want to come off as if you're hiding shit, but don't reveal your deepest, darkest secrets within the first twenty minutes on the first date. Like an onion, reveal your layers one at a time. 

Tip #12: Don't order a fucking salad on the first lunch or dinner date. Nothing says "I have a cardboard personality" like ordering salad. Order something interesting or exotic, sexy, and decadent. Then offer to share. 

Tip #13: Be a capable conversationalist. This goes back to the "be interesting" idea, but a little more specific. When he's talking, actually listen (as opposed to composing your next statement in your head.) FAR too many people do this and it's annoying as fuck. Develop your ability to ask questions based off what the other person says. If they mention they went to school in upstate New York, follow up by asking something like "Were the fall colors as brilliant as I imagine?" Silly example, but you get the idea. Listen more than you talk. If your socialization skills aren't in the top 5% of your peers, buy this book and follow the advice

Tip #14: Don't be a catty bitch. Women, if in the presence of a high value man, have an annoying tendency to sexually disqualify other women within eyesight with comments like "look at that woman in the slutty dress. I bet she has herpes." If you're doing what it takes to assure the dude you're with is interested in you, there's no need to do this. It just makes you look like an insecure jealous or envious bitch, both of which are red flags. 

Tip #15: If you have kids or pets, don't talk about them unless asked. It's fair to mention them, but don't make them the topic of conversation unless he asks. Nothing kills seduction like talk of family. Also, if he has kids and you don't BUT you have a pet, DO NOT COMPARE THE EXPERIENCES AS IF THEY'RE THE SAME THING! Being a "pet parent" isn't parenting. It's a fucking animal. This is a powerful indicator you've lost touch with objective reality.

Tip #17: Be aware of the caveats of online dating. Online dating is a weird animal. Generally speaking, the people who use online dating are doing so because they're either too busy to meet people in real life, are just looking to get laid with minimal effort, or have social hangups that make asynchronous, electronic communication more desirable than chatting face-to-face. For women, you're not going to find a lot of high value alpha males looking for relationships online. Most high value dudes are just looking for a string of random hookups. Those who ARE looking for commitment get snatched up by high value women almost immediately because they're so god damned rare... which is more than enough justification to make yourself as hot as possible to compete. The vast majority of men online a beta turds who are excessively needy, fat, lazy, weird in an off-putting way, or just hoping to find a woman desperate enough to fuck them. To avoid those men, I suggest adding the following like to your profile: "No male feminists." It won't completely solve the problem, but it's a good start. 

Tip #18: Understand not all dudes who will fuck you will want to have a relationship with you. I intentionally saved this one for last because it's among the biggest mistakes I see women making. I explain this dynamic in more detail in this post, but it basically works like this: High value dudes will tap low value women, but will only commit to high value women. Women often assume if they're good enough to fuck, they're good enough for girlfriend (or gasp - wife) material. Not so. Women looking for commitment consistently aim for men clearly out of their league, then get frustrated when those men ditch them. The problem isn't the men. The problem is the woman's failure to understand how men actually work. The rule of thumb: If you have problems getting men to commit, lower your expectations and shoot for lower value men, or, as I recommend in the linked article and in some of the tips above, do the hard work of making yourself a higher value woman. I recommend making a list of the things you desire from your dream man. Now make a list of the shit you bring to the table. Be honest. Do you think that dream man would be impressed with your list? If not, get to work or start crossing shit off your dream man list

Conclusion


There you have it - eighteen tips to help older women compete with younger women. Given our society's tendency to shame masculinity, we have a glut of beta males running around. High-value alpha males capable of long-term relationships really are unicorns. These eighteen tips, if followed, will give you a HUGE advantage over all your cohorts and should give you a fighting chance with the younger, less experienced women. 

Good luck!

In the next post, I'll share some tips on how to discriminate between alpha and beta males. 



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